my thoughts...

school and work. school and work. all day everyday. such is life, i guess, for now.

i had a test fri in my bio class. i got a 75 on it. but, the tests are curved to the highest grade in the class, and as it turns out, i got the highest grade in my class, so i actually recieved a grade of 100. i have an A in the class. its a really weird feeling to have an A in a class when you have no idea whats going on. its a feeling of, "am i really getting away w/ this??" oh well, ill take the A.

i was thinking about cutting back on my work schedule, but i thanks to some unexpected, and rather large expenses, my finances have become quite a bit tighter. soo i have to keep up the work, unfortunately. maybe ill be able to cut down after Christmas time.

too much on my mind lately. been weighing me down. been meaning to send messages to people, telling them random things. ive sent a few, but i havent really felt like doing anything lately. sluggish. hating work right now. schools about to start. oh, and my vision is going. very unnerving.

i should be doing a large paper right now, but instead i am not. it is 620 am. oh well. i prefer to do things such as watching tv, checking sports news/scores, managing my fantasy baseball team, listening to music/messing around on myspace, and other nonsense.

i was reading wendys latest journal and it reminded me of something i heard the other day. i dont remember it all, and the person i heard it from was only doing his best to recall it from some play thing he saw, so ill do my best to recall it.

the people in our life are like a tree. some people are like the leaves. they are in our lives for a season, and teach us something, one thing, and then the wind will blow and they will be gone, and we need to accept that. other people are like the branches. the wind will blow and blow, but they will still be there. however, when you need them for support and begin to lean on them, those branches will break and let you fall. but, as long as you have a select few to be your roots, the strength of the tree, the ones that will always be there to help you grow, you will be ok. these are the ones that we need and should hold onto.

i think thats pretty much it, a good paraphrasing at least. wow, what a girly entry this has turned out to be.

i dont like tatoos. i think they are gross, and frankly i relate it to being branded as low class just as a cow would be branded. this is just me though, and i know that there are numerous people that like tatoos, unfortunately. i suppose the small ones that are never seen are acceptable, but really, if thats the case, why get one at all? just gross, and ugly. its like dirt that can never be washed off. yeah, definitely looks dirty to me. tattoos, def not for me.

i say all that about the tattoos b/c i saw what wouldve been an extremely attractive girl if not for the garish tattoos that engulfed her body. its a shame, really. but, if shes happy w/ that, then so be it.

my summer class for the first seesion is almost over, and i will now also be taking another class in the second session (oh joy). i am left w/ little time w/ these summer classes and work, but at least theyre only 6 weeks long. i got a paper back on monday in my class, got an A on it, well A-, and my teacher/professor wrote a note on it along the lines of "next time try for a real A." ha, oook. and today she took me aside and asked if i have any ambitions, and why i seem to only go for a B when i "could easily get an A." umm, yeah... i dunno, i just wanna get it done. do what i have to, move on to the next thing. credits transfer, not grades, so who cares. take pride in my work? nah, pride is for suckers. its also a sin, right? ha, yeah, thats a good reason. anyways, i shoot for Cs, sometimes Bs. i get As in some courses, so it all averages out, and thats what im going for, right, a grade point average. and anyways, all i really have to have to transer to anywhere is like, a 2.5 or 2.7 or something like that, so im pretty set, and once i get to wherever i go, school wise, i guess ill start working harder then. but until then, im content with what i do.

no work and no school for tomorrow, thank goodness. i hope no one wakes me up early, b/c i will be soo mad at them.

ive been so tired lately. last night was the first night ive been able to get any decent amount of sleep in a really long time, and it was great. summer school and work is a horrible combination, especially when you get a prof that believes in 2 hrs of hw for every 1 hr of class, and does her best to always have it that way. so gay. anyways, need more sleep. instead of taking a nap, i think i might take a coma.

why am busier now that its summer than i was before summer started, and then wont have things slow down until the fall? isnt it supposed to be the opposite of that? oh well.

my dad is back in the states from iraq for a little less than 2 weeks, so thats cool. ive seen him briefly thus far, but will do something w/ him most likely on my birthday, which, by the way, is on wed may 31.

oh, and some other stuff is and has been on my mind, but i dont feel like typing it all out, although i probably should. but its too much, so screw that.

nothing like getting an A in a class that you werent expecting an A in.

im an idiot. im a stupid, lazy, good for nothing idiot. and i have only my idiotic self to blame.




idiot.

my internet has been sucking lately. dont know why, but its starting to piss me off.

im sore. unusual amounts of physical activity and sun have made me sore, and burned.

Happy late Easter.

too much going on. everything seems to be coming at once.

baseball season has started. awesome. went to opening day game. awesome. we won. awesome. go stros. awesome.

papers and tests and research and and more papers and more tests are all piling up. stupid end of the semester. why cant these things be assigned at the beginning of the semester when im still motivated and care?

hot date tomorrow. w/ an older woman. im kinda nervous. my stomache feels a little sick.

ok, the sick stomache? not just nerves. double damnit.

ive never thought of myself as one to have a fear of commitment, but lately the subject of marriage has been brought up an awful lot around me, and its got me thinking. im kinda freaking out about it, and w/ no reason to, which makes me wonder if maybe i am going to have a problem when it does come time for me to get married. its all just too much to think about. marriage, kids, career, life.

who needs sleep? "not i", said the man still doing his paper that he didnt start until only a few hours before it was due.

when youre really really tired, things that normally wouldnt be funny at all are hysterical.

id probably get my work done faster if i was so easily distracted.

shouldnt life be getting easier? arent people inventing various items and gadgets to make like more convenient? sometimes i get overwhelmed w/ things, and i dont even do half of what other people that i know do. those people amaze me sometimes. but despite being amazed by them, i dont envy them. i dont wanna do a million things and juggle life constantly. i dont think the fast paced world is for me. i long for a nice, easy, slower lifestyle, only still w/ all the high tech stuff. i think that when people say that they enjoy being busy, and love and thrive under pressure they are lying, or at the very least not trying to convince me, but rather trying to convince themselves. its impossible to do everything, so why does it seem that so many people are trying to? but then again, thats just me.



stop and smell the roses.

im becoming less and less motivated to do anything, anything at all, as each day passes.

ive just hit the point in the semester where i fall apart. ive been to every class, turned in every assignment, done well on all my tests, and now, right on schedule, i dismantle. i just talked myself into not doing a paper due in approx 6hrs, and now im going to sleep. peesh.

i wish everything was free.

i went to seguin yesterday(tues) to hang out w/ adam. we had planned on then going to austin to see "the comedians of comedy" and special guest flight of the conchords (hilariously awesome by the way), but we were unable to obtain the necessary information in time. this was mainly b/c the website gave a number to call and an answering machine on the phone said to visit the website. plus we decided that itd be best not to spend the money anyways, both being poor and all. so we just did random things for the night. then i came home this morning(wed).

i dont mind the use of improper grammar. i dont correct people, and i dont plan on correcting people b/c its rude. i certainly dont always use it myself. sometimes it makes sentences clumsy and hurts the flow of conversation. it does, however, annoy me when people consciously try to correct themselves but only end up doing it incorrectly. mostly it involves i/me and good/well, and also the occasional wayward "whom." i guess its something that they try, but, i mean, id rather them double check their mla handbooks or something before they start patting themselves on the back. oh, and it really annoys me when someone attempts to incorrectly correct my already correct grammar usage. this happened fairly recently, actually. normally i would not correct people, but since i had improperly been corrected, i explained why what i said was correct. im not saying that im always correct, just that i was that time.

i think i may have just opened myself to constantly having my grammar corrected, and to paraphrase winston churchill, that is something up with which i will not put.

the pope now has an ipod. a 2GB white ipod nano to be exact.

i dont know what else to say.

whats happens when youve reached all your goals and achieved all your dreams? what would be the point of going on afterwards? perhaps not all goals are meant to be reached, and if dreams were realized, then i guess they wouldnt be dreams. but then again, if its something unattainable, what keeps us chasing it?

constantly falling just short can really start to wear you down.

if my days were to be put into 3 different categories, there would be up days, down days, and level days. when put together they would show the rollercoaster ride that is life.

yesterday was a down day.